After 2 days absence from internship...

Well well well, back to this blogging time again!
I'm absence from my internship for 2 days, and tomorrow I'm gonna start to work again :)
My body is ready enough *I think..* to start another tiring day...

First, I'm gonna say a big big big deep condolences for Cory Monteith, who is passed away on 13 June 2013. He is my big idol, the great figure and I really really adore him. I have known him since the first time I watched Glee. And now, Glee will be not the same at first without you Cory. Deep condolences too for his family, his friends and also his lover, who is another my idol, Lea Michele. Stay strong Lea, you'll be fine, and Cory is also happy there in Heaven. He sure does watch you from up there, he never leave you alone, he also stand by you. He also be there for you, because forever you are his, faithfully.

And.. Back to my story.
Today I'm sent a little harmonious melody from someone who'll I work with.. And I'm so excited!
The music is soooo joyful and beautiful! I kinda feel I'll be singing with a big big orchestra behind me..
Although actually it's just a MIDI... XD
But I have never been happy like this before because this is my first time experience to work with some professional in the music! Sooo Happy!!
I'm gonna give my best in this project! Fighting!

Also today, in my free time, I try to make something for my bf.. I haven't given him any present since his birthday on 14 June.. I wanted to give him something I made by myself.. And I choose to give him something I am passionate about lately: "Clay" :D
I make this Stitch figure for him, and I'm gonna make the Angel one soon!
For my first try and with my doll as the figure, I think this is a good try out.. (Although it doesn't seem like Stitch very much, and it doesn't look as cute as it is.. T_T)

My Handmade Clay Stitch Figure :D

Maybe this weekend I should work on the Angel.. Gonna work harder for the next figure! XD

I've watched Running Man Episode 154 too. DAEBAK! Especially Kwang Soo *Love you oppa~*

This episode is starring Park Ji Sung, who is gonna choose some Running Man members to participate at Asian Dream Cup. Asian Dream Cup is the great event for Running Man because they get the chance to participate as a soccer player there even though they're not real soccer players.
And it's funny to see them play because they sometimes get embarrassed  or act fool in front of the others.
Episode 154 is starring Ji Sung and International Soccer Player, Evra. This episode is related with the previous episode, which is starring Park Ji Sung and Goo Ja Chul.
Anyone who don't watch Running Man, I suggest you to watch it sometimes, because it's a really good show to release your stress out, and for a little fun time :D

Thank You!

Thursday morning, cloudy as yesterday.
Being so quite here, lonely as well.
Everyone are busy with their own work, but me?
Sitting here nothing to do..

Lately I don't sing so much..
I keep away from music
I get rid that melody from my life
I don't care about music...

But lately, the 'piano' come again to my life
Bringing back some music little by little..
Well what is it mean God?
What is the thing intended for me?

I really really know what are you mean to me.
You're just a partner to me
But, I know you're bringing a little bit of music once again to my life.
The first time I know you, I also know music for the first time..

Then I must say, Thank You!
Thank you for bringing some melodies to my life..
Music is my another life, it seems like I can fly to another world with music
I can reach above my limit with music..

Thank you Mr. Piano, you're a great music partner for me :)
I hope we can play music together again someday
And let the world know music more, like I know music for the first time..

sleepy -random

Oh my, such a headache..
I go to the office with not-in-a-mood-feeling-and-spinning-head.
I really really want to go home.. Feel not so good..

maybe sleep in my bed is a good idea..

In The Middle of Internship Day 6

Hello there, long time no post :)
it's been two years, hasn't it?
I write this blog on my internship time.

YES I'M AN INTERN NOW :D

I've grown up, not a child anymore, although sometimes i still act like a kid *upss*
I realize now, I have my future so big in front of me, and I don't want to waste it.
I must go on my path, whether I know it's right or not, I must keep going.

I'm on my internship period at KPMG Indonesia, as a junior auditor.
In fact, as an intern here, I don't do anything much as busy as an auditor.
Maybe it's because I enter in the wrong period. This month is like a low season for an auditor to get some client.
So, here, auditors don't have so many works like I think about - again because it's in the low season.
Everyday is boring for me, don't have somebody to talk to, just listening to the music and E-Learning from online module.
Actually this is what I feel now, just wanna share my experience in auditor's low season :)

I'm entering one of the Big Four Public Accountant Company with some complex feelings. I can't enjoy my holiday for this semester :(
I feel so bad for my boyfriend because I can't go through this holiday with him..
I'm sorry dear, but I promise, when I get my free time, I will spend it all with you only..
Keep my words. :)

I'm a little busy too with my church activities. Yesterday me and the choir sang at Opening Mass for TERAMO 2013, which is opened by Mgr. Ignatius Soeharyo. Such a big big pleasure to be one room with him, and I'm happy too because the mass went very well and the choir sang well too.

Thank God I'm still standing here, although at first, I felt so much pressure to be here at KPMG, because I have nothing to do, I have no one to talk to. But everyday, everyone around me support me to be tough, especially my boyfriend. Thank you for always supporting me..

Almost forgot, I have a little music project too with some friends. I'm so excited because it's my first time to be like a pro, recording in studio, and be one team with some professional young musicians.
I'm gonna record a theme song for a waterpark in Medan, and it's gonna be 'Disney' look a like composition. I'm so excited! When I heard the half way done instrumental, I was so amazed, and sooo... ah I can't describe my happiness with words when I hear that beautiful song!
I'm gonna use my falseto too for this song, and I'm soo happy to sing that high pitch note once again.
When it comes to music, I can help myself to be so excited!

Well, because I write this in the middle of working time, I feel kinda weird, because everyone here is kinda busy with their own work, and I can't write anything so personal here.. Maybe that's all I can write now, gonna log off from this G+ account, listening some Depapepe musics and go back to my e-learning modules.

Later! :)

i just want you to know and understand..

who don't want to be someone that is liked by the most important person for you?

everyone does, so do i. i'm so excited to change my look, and my personality for him. not just for him, but also for myself too, it's benefit for me.

but, what will you do if his/her ex girl/boyfriend is more talented than you? you must feel not confident enough, right?

it's the same with my feelings now. i feel so down, i still can't be good enough for him, i can't be feminine or motherly like his ex.

well, i can't cook well, mine isn't adequate to say 'good'. not like her, she is the opposite. feminine, and motherly.. i know, maybe this is my envy feeling, and i shouldn't be like this, but i can't fight this feeling anymore..

i know you like feminine and motherly girl more than sporty girl, and i try so hard to make myself appears like what you want.. i was so sad when you say "why you not show your love and your will to be more experienced? if you show them all, i'm sure you will be more than her.."

do i not show my love enough to you? you don't know my efforts to make you proud..

i know i'm pessimistic person, and i'm not confident enough, but i just want you to know and understand me that i'll do anything to make you proud of me, i'll do anything to make myself more experienced..

someday i'll show you the result from all my efforts all of this time.. i promise..

please don't disdain me.. i beg you..

i love you with all my heart and i'll do anything to make you proud..

God help me..

well, time flies.. it's December already.. end of the year is coming, and i'm not gonna waste these last couple of weeks.. i want to make something that will increase my talent, or maybe improving my skills that i have..
tomorrow i'll sing at Gandaria City, at 5 pm with Kawai Music Band.. well, i must admit it, they're professional.. just need a few minutes, then they played the arrangement of Christmas song which i will sing tomorrow so nicely..
i'm gonna sing My Grown Up Christmas List, Go Tell It on The Mountain with latin style, and also i'll do a trio with my new Kawai friends and sing Winter Wonderland together.. this evening, Mr. Leslie texted me too about memorizing Mary's Boy Child's lyrics.. i don't know for what is it, maybe i'll gonna sing that song with the others..

really fun to work with music.. i know that.. but there's something i want when i perform those song in front of the audience..
i want him to watch me.. to stand there and give me some advices.. but again, he can't.. i know it isn't his fault, it isn't anyone's fault.. but that disappointed feeling surely won't get out from my heart.. maybe when i post this to my blog, i can be relieved a little..
he had promised to me to come and accompanied me to go there, but tomorrow he must go with his mother to a wedding invitation.. well, i must learn to be patient, and not be selfish..

and also.. i hate to see you blame yourself.. i hate that so much.. this is my own fault, because i'm so selfish..
if you blame yourself, i feel like my heart's dumped and i wanna cry..

God, help me to be unselfish..
i really" hate myself which is so selfish.. i always mad when he break his promise.. actually, he break his promises because some reasons which aren't his fault and i shouldn't blame him for..
i'm really" sorry dear.. i don't mean to.. i just need some time to change my personality... my bad attitude..
i know you won't disappoint me and my heart by breaking your promises with some weird reason..
i trust you, and that's because i love you so much..

can i fulfill my dream?

sometimes i think, i want to be a person, who can get a job i like in the future then. as you all know, all i love to do is something about music, or related with music, especially singing. one day, i prayed to God. "God, if You have given this voice to me, then what should i do? can i sing with all my heart? can i cheer all of people around me with my song? can i present this voice to You?"
because i have known that i have this little talent, i just want to all of people around me know, that i can do a thing, which can be proud of. the first one i want to make proud is my mom. i want to show her, i can do my best, i can make her smile with my voice, my song, and in front of her, i can show her, her little girl, now has grown up and started to become a woman..
can i also give my voice to be heard by those who have heartaches? however i know heartaches can't be healed so easily - it always 'imprint' on everyone's heart, but i just want to give them a little light on their heart, give them a little hope, from my song..
i want, when i sing, seems like i speak to everyone who hear me. i want my song tells them a story, or gives them any advice, or cheers them up, or anything that my song can do..
and now, can i fulfill my dream? i just want to make my mom proud, make everyone hear me, hear my voice, hear my song, not just a little voice singing a song, but with heart, from the deepest part of my heart, i want to sing, and express my feelings, and let them know, that i proud of the masterpiece of God, i proud of my voice, and i believe i can do something useful with this soprano voice..

not all who have soprano voice, especially those who like to be in Classical music are nothing! just because in these era, Pop music are more popular, you can underestimate Classical music, no, you absolutely wrong! i'll show you, who have underestimate me because i like my high-pitch-voice, that i can be success and my voice, isn't just a garbage!