soprano, but..

i feel kinda strange with my voice lately. i don't know why but it seems like isn't good as it should. i can't reach the high pitch note as usual. maybe this is because my unorganized sleeping time. my ex teacher said that if you sleep too late, then your voice will take the effect. then, i have some problems with my breath too. i am not having an asthma though, but sometimes i feel that my breath is too short. sometimes i can't breathe normally. i don't know why and i can't tell it to my mom. that's why i'm going back to swim again in these few days, to help me breathe longer.
i keep practicing to get back my voice as usual, but i think it doesn't work. yeah, maybe you can say that i feel desperate now. i don't show this to another people, because they won't believe me.

i'm afraid to lose my voice. i figured this voice was given as a present from God, because i don't have anything else to be proud of. i'm happy to be a soprano, i can reach the note which the others can't. i'm happy to be a vocalist, i can express my feelings right away. if i lost my voice, i wouldn't live well as before. also.. i would never reach my dream.. to be on stage, with him, or become something that you can call a 'diva'. an opera singer will be just fine, because i like classical music, but sometimes i think it just an unreached dream. hahaha.. what will happen if the person who takes the soprano part, but she can't sing as the sopranos do?

this time, i write this blog with short breath, i don't know why this morning i have already feel this sucks condition. but still, i love the singing thing. i want to sing as long as i can, as my heart belongs to the song. although i'm a little bit desperate, but still, i keep practicing. i won't forget about the one who has given this voice to me. i will present my voice to Him too. the sweetest voice, just for my mom, my 'piano', and also.. my God.